She seemed flustered, looking at the diary she thought had been lost. The movies she liked, places she wanted to go, flowers she preferred, and future she dreamed of appeared every time she turned the page. It was something I had done for her. The words "I'm sorry" didn't come easily. The red diary lay between us like a traffic light.

    I wanted to make her happy. I wanted to make her laugh. I wanted to be a good person. I thought that if I followed the words written in the diary, I would become so. But it wasn't so. I become more frightened the more I tried to be someone else. Wouldn't my real self be discovered? Wouldn't she be disappointed and leave me? I frantically hid myself and turned my head away from myself. But just as one can't put a period on a sentence without a subject, the me who had lost myself could not improve and instead wandered in the same place.

    I know now. That the insufficient me who makes mistakes and fails is indeed a part of myself. That no matter how cruel and merciless things are, only by being true to myself can I take the next step forward. I stood up from my spot and she didn't try to grab me.

    I went out to the street and took off my hat. As I swept my hair back, all the time I had spent trying so hard to be someone else seemed to slip through my fingers. I lifted my head and locked eyes with the me reflected in the window. A frail face, pale lips, thin shoulders. I looked endlessly shabby. I laughed. The me in the window laughed too.


    Can anyone remember the moment they fell in love? Can anyone predict the moment their love will end? What could be the reason that humans don't have the ability to recognize those moments? And why was I given the power to return [restore] all of those things?

    The car comes to a sudden stop, the headlights flash, crashing, bouncing, falling. I did nothing but stand defenseless in the face of all of those moments. I heard no sound and felt no sensations. It was summer, but the wind seemed cold. There was the sound of something tumbling along the street. Then there was the scent of flowers. Only then did a sense of reality come to me. The bouquet of smeraldo flowers fell from my hand. She was laying there in the middle of the street. There was blood flowing in between the strands of her hair. The dark red blood flowed along the street. I thought. If only I could turn back time.


    After emerging from the blocked intersection, I drew to an abrupt stop just when I should have been gaining speed. The car behind me passed by with its horn blaring, and it seemed like someone cursed, but in the din of the city it went unheard. I saw a small flower shop in one corner of an alley to the right. It wasn't that I had stopped because I saw the store, but rather that I had discovered it after I'd drawn up short.

    The store was under construction, and even as I approached the owner, who was organizing documents over to one side, I had no real expectations. I had already visited several places, and I couldn't find even one florist who knew of that flower's existence. They had only shown me flowers of a similar color. But I wasn't looking for something similar. The flowers had to be real. After hearing the name of the flower, the store's owner looked at me for a long time. He told me that although the store hadn't formally opened, he was able to arrange a delivery, and then asked, "why do you need that flower, of all flowers?"

    I thought about it as I turned the handle and went back onto the street. The reason why I needed that flower. There was only one. Because I wanted to make [that person] happy. Because I wanted to make [that person] smile. Because I wanted to see [that person] enjoy it. Because I wanted to be a good person.


      Uploaded on 10 July 2017, 10 July 2018, 10 July 2020

      The first blog post introduces the writer as “testesso,” meaning “yourself” in english (we will be referring to them as the florist in these summaries). The florist announces their plan to open the Flower Smeraldo shop in mid september, in 2018 the shops opening date changes to late august which corresponds to the release of Love Yourself: Answer on august 24, the latest rendition (2020) also has late august as the opening date. The florist came to know of the Smeraldo flower from attending a conference on the origin of playing cards in the United States after the florist miswrote the date for the Flower 2012 conference, in later uploads this is called the Annual Flower Conference. We are also introduced to “The Smeraldo Academy” (TSA) and learn the meaning of the Smeraldo in flower language, non potevo dire la verrita or the truth untold, this is also the name of a song in BTS’ album Love Yourself: Tear.

      Uploaded on 12 July 2017, 12 July 2018, 12 July 2020

      The florist says they hope the smeraldo may bring people happiness and explains the idea of a flower being what makes a day special not the other way around. There are images of Flower Smeraldo in construction, as well as the van the florist will use to deliver Smeraldos. We learn the florist plans to have an all white interior to bring out the colors of the smeraldo flower, and that those wanting the flower should order 2 weeks in advance as it may take time to supply smeraldos to customers. It is mentioned that the flower originated in Northern Italy.

      Uploaded on 17 July 2017, 17 July 2018, 15 July 2020

      The florist says the smeraldo flower was thought to be a myth until a travel photographer, amtest(amare_0), posted a photo of the flower on instagram. Amare means love in italian, amtest combines the words amare and testesso to mean love yourself, the name of BTS’ album series. The image of the smeraldo was posted on June 12, 2013, BTS’ debut date. The image was taken in la citta di smeraldo, the city of smeraldos in english, the smeraldo flower only exists in this city and all attempts to grow it elsewhere failed. (Smeraldo means emeraldo so this directly translates to the emerald city)

      The third blog post that was uploaded in 2020 tells a different story from the ones uploaded in 2017 and 2018. It says there was a large typhoon and as a result construction was stopped. While sitting in the shop the florist noticed someone holding an umbrella walk up to the shop outside and stare into the interior for a few minutes.

      (Most likely this person staring into the store is Seokjin as he was the only one who knew of the smeraldo at that time.)

      Uploaded on 20 July 2017, 20 July 2018, 17 July 2020

      In this blog post the florist details the story behind the smeraldo flower. In the 15th or 16th century there was a man who lived in a lonely castle in la citta di smeraldo, he was born illegitimately to a duke and a gardener's daughter who died in childbirth, after he was sent into hiding after the duke’s family threatened him. He lived a lonesome life and his only joy was growing flowers. One day a women snuck into his garden and stole some flowers, this continued for a several nights, one day the man followed her and discovered she was selling the flowers to survive. The man is the castle wanted to teach her how to grow flowers but was afraid he would scare her due to his ugly appearance. He decided to make an entirely new flower had hadn’t existed before so she could make a lot of profit. One day the women stopped coming to his garden, he went to find out what had happened only to discover she had passed away. The florist notes at the end of this blog that this story reminds him of the unrequited love he had with a friend.

      The version of the Forth Story uploaded in 2020 is the contents of the Third Story uploaded in 2017 and 2018.

      Uploaded on 26 July 2017, 26 July 2018, 20 July 2020

      The florist goes into more detail regarding how playing cards relate to the smeraldo flower. He tells the story of William Ashbless, an aristocrat and a well known manufacturer of playing cards, who went to Northern Italy to rest and ended up finding a smeraldo flower, after finding it he came to hear of the story depicted in “The Fourth Story” and created the name, smeraldo flower, and the meaning, the truth untold, for the flower. He also created the Flower Card, a playing card with two meanings, blooming, fruit, and fruition when viewed in the correct position, and fall, end, and new beginning, when viewed upside down.

      The version of the Fifth Story uploaded in 2020 is the contents of the Fourth Story uploaded in 2017 and 2018.

      Uploaded on 31 July 2017, 31 July 2018, 26 July 2020

      This blog post discusses the only surviving image of The Flower Card. The image originally came from the larger portrait “Madame Lenormand Sitting at the Salon” painted by Jean-Francois Rolland, which depicts the astrologist Madame Lenormand. The painting caught fire and the section showing The Flower Card became the only surviving portion of the painting.

      The version of the Sixth Story uploaded in 2020 is the contents of the Fifth Story uploaded in 2017 and 2018.

      Uploaded on 3 August 2017, 3 August 2018, 31 July 2020

      The florist tells the story of the friend mentioned in “The Fourth Story”. He and the friend had promised to go to Italy together to see the smeraldo flowers. On the day they were to leave the florist saw her get off a bus with a guy, assuming the worst he decided to not meet up with her and instead went to the plane and boarded by himself, secretly hoping that she would search the plane for him. A few days passed until one morning when he gets a call, he learns the guy he saw at the airport was her brother and that she had gotten into a car accident and passed away. When he arrived back from Italy he learned that smeraldo flowers were not allowed to be shipped to korean flower shops.

      The version of the Seventh Story uploaded in 2020 is the contents of the Sixth Story uploaded in 2017 and 2018.

      Uploaded on 7 August 2018

      The smeraldo is a very rare, after it was discovered the Smeraldo Academy was founded to regulate its movement and experiment on the flower.

      Uploaded on 15 August 2017, 15 August 2018, 3 August 2020

      The florist is busy planning the opening of Flower Smeraldo. Although he wasn’t supposed to go to the construction site on this day he went anyways as he had an instinctive feeling someone would arrive wanting smeraldos, in the 2018 version no one came. However, in the original 2017 upload Seokjin went to the store and became the florist’s first order. The florist wanted Seokjin to write something on a card, he did but didn’t tell the florist what he wrote. When asked why he wanted the smeraldo flowers he replied that he wanted to be a good person.

      The version of the Eighth Story uploaded in 2020 is the contents of the Seventh Story uploaded in 2017 and 2018.

      Uploaded on 30 August 2017, 22 August 2018, 12 August 2020

      In the 2017 upload the florist announces the smeraldos have passed through customs.

      In the 2018 version, the florist announces the completion of Flower Smeraldo’s construction, and says it will open on August 25 in Jamsil, Seoul. He recounts that many troubles have happened to get to this point but is excited to bring smeraldo to many people.

      (This “Flower Smeraldo” did exist in a sense, at the start of BTS’ Love Yourself: Speak Yourself stadium tour starting in Jamsil Stadium there was a merchandise booth for Flower Smeraldo!)

      In the 2020 version, the florist tells an addition to the origin story of the smeraldo flower. That the man went back to his castle and burnt his garden to the ground, by the time the fire was put out he had disappeared. He had been all but forgotten when a villager went to see relatives in Florence and saw a man with severe burns and an unreadable expression. The florist than says this story reminds him of someone he saw in the news is an equally unreadable expression.

      Uploaded on 24 August 2018

      The Flower Smeraldo opens tomorrow, the florist makes final preparations and notes there he is worried because of a recent typhoon.

      In the 2020 edition of the Tenth Story the florist announces his plans to sell smeraldo flowers at the annual fireworks festival in Songju, held on August 30th. He also says Flower Smeraldo shop will be opening on August 25th and says the store is located one block after Mun-hyeon Dongil Cinema. Both Flower Smeraldo and Dongil Cinema can be seen on the map located in the “Interactive Map” and “Bookmark-Style Map” sections of this website! The Songju fireworks festival was also mentioned in the note from Year 09 August 30, this note can be found by looking at the Yangji Orphanage tab on this site! The word fireworks in korean literally means fire flowers and may have some relation to the smeraldo as a flower.

      The Notes 1: 花樣年華 [The Most Beautiful Moment in Life]

      • SEOKJIN YEAR 22 AUGUST 15:

        Seokjin recounts how he first met the girl , one month ago (July 11th) by the railroad tracks after visiting Jungkook at the hospital. As he contemplates how lonely he feels, he sees the girl crossing the tracks towards him. She drops her diary which contained her wish list, and one of the things in it was a clipping of the Smeraldo Flower and a paragraph from The Art Of Loving by Erich Fromm. Seokjin tries to do a lot of things from the book with her for the following month. He also finds the Smeraldo Flower Shop and arranges for their delivery on August 30.

        Although he knows that he is doing the wrong thing, he is unable to come clean because he is afraid the girl might leave him. He says he wants to make her happy and confess his love for her. He decides to confess on August 30 during the Firework display at the Yangji River because it's her favorite time and her favorite place.

      • SEOKJIN YEAR 22 AUGUST 30:

        Seokjin waits for the florist to deliver the Smeraldos. The florist arrives in a truck with the Flower Smeraldo logo and delivers the bouquet and tells Seokjin he was late because of the Fireworks Festival. Seokjin realizes the card he asked for was missing, so he calls the driver who says he can make a U-turn and come right back. Just then the girl appears across the intersection and walks towards Seokjin.

      • SEOKJIN YEAR 22 AUGUST 30:

        Seokjin watches as the Smeraldo truck, which had made a U-turn, hits the girl. He freezes for a moment till he drops the bouquet of Smeraldos and comes back to reality. He watches helplessly as the girl bleeds on the pavement as the first fireworks burst into the sky. He hears a mirror crack.